VIVA ESPAÑA
Barcelona has left an unbelievably positive impression on us both. It felt like it could easily be home with a huge mix of many ingredients. A big city without the feeling of congestion or pressure. It’s hard to encapsulate so many sights, sounds, and smells in a short story and I am not about to do it justice.Landing here on Saturday afternoon we jumped in a cab (they hate Uber) and made our way into the city in around 20 minutes or so.
Our driver told us he was the son of a Spanish father and a Dominican mom. He was born in the Dominican Republic but had shared his 50 or so years on this planet between both. This guy was a super happy soul and a very proud citizen of Barcelona.
I could not have had a better view. A 2-1 Barca lead was levelled by Real Madrid center forward and Welshman Gareth Bale in the second half that saw out 90 minutes and 10 minutes of injury time. Every one of those minutes were filled with the voices of Barca fans with their songs and cheers. At the final whistle I wandered slowly from the stands and met up with Dale in the agreed location. We revelled in the experience and then made our way home. So late to bed and early to rise. Our plane left Barcelona this morning for London at 7:10. It was a great flight on EasyJet once again with speedy boarding.
So here we are back in old blighty. The sun is out big time and we are gonna head for the train into town, the Grosvenor Hotel is our digs for the next couple of days.
Live Well!
SICILY GOES GREEK.
I am currently gazing 200 meters to the south from my table at the Hotel Del Athena. This remarkable terrace sits in the shadow of the worlds best kept Greek Temples. Being in Agrigentro is just a bit more than surreal. For a mere mortal to get so close to such ancient and awesome architecture built solely for the gods to enjoy is quite an experience. Most of us would tend to think that if you want to visit stunning Greek temples you should probably get yourself to Greece.This place is incredible and should not be missed if visiting Sicily or anywhere near for that matter. Of course, with every description of ancient ruins should come a short history lesson laying out the important facts and figures. I will spare you that but encourage you to spend a minute or two searching Wikipedia for the significant details.
As you can imagine a seat at a five star hotel surrounded by greatness is a recipe for spending euros, and in fact you would be right. Two double Bombay (Mumbai) gin and Schweppes tonic accompanied by olives & almonds and the bill came to 56 big ones. Oh well, the waiters were dressed in white tuxedo jackets and the manager moved about like a cat with an eagle eye for anything that could constitute less than impeccable service.Dale mentioned that during a short period when he stepped away from our table he overheard several American sixty something tourists lambasting their poor tour guide. The tour company was apparently significantly lacking for booking a hotel that has guest room televisions that are not even as big as the ones in their kitchens back home.I personally can’t think why you would give a shit when you are paying mega bucks for a five star hotel next to several unspoilt Greek Temples, but each to his own and praise be to Jeebus that I don’t one day become one of those old pricks.
How we got to the Valley of the Temple of the Gods is in someways just as interesting. Yesterday we arrived in Sicily via Venice and Volotea Airlines. We landed on the east coast in the city of Catania. We wisked our way through the airport to Budget Rentals and soon after were motoring through the hills to the south of the city near Mt. Etna. The destination was our Airbnb in Ragusa Ibla owned and operated by Gianni and his daughter Chiara. As the photographs attached will indicate Chiara’s home is perched on the side of a mountain overlooking the rest of the hilltown to the south.
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The home is a modern, recently renovated cliffside beauty that is absolutely gorgeous. It is clean both in condition and interior design and the balcony is unlike any other I have stood on before. This town is used regularly as a set for an Italian crime drama that is subtitled in many languages and aired all around the world. For those interested, the program is Inspector Montalbano and I recommend a watch.
Upon arrival yesterday we were met by Gianni and checked in with speed and accuracy. It’s not often that you are met at the door with an assortment of delicate Sicilian baked goods.
It was nice to meet Gianni and he was quick to give us the local 411 that could help us enjoy our next 48 hours here. Soon after we jumped in the car and headed down the hill into the bustling village. The churches are magnificent and the accompanying businesses and homes fell suit. We wandered for quite some time only to stop for a pew at a local church and an espresso at the appropriate time to recharge the batteries.
Later we headed into Ragusa proper for a SPAR grocery store to shop for some fresh pasta for dinner. Both Pomodoro and Pesto on tonight’s menu. The plate would not be complete without sun-dried tomatoes and anchovies to accompany the local pane’. Given we are in the slow food capital of the world we took advantage and spent a couple hours enjoying our meal. The very cheap yet delicious tetra pack table wine that costs less than 2 dollars Canadian a litre is so good. Dishes washed and a little TV capped off the night as well as could be expected. Let me tell you now, by no fault of our own our expectations are now quite high.
Lastly but not least we stopped in Punta Secca on the Sicilian coast this morning. It is a beautiful seaside town that has a wonderful beach and wonderful coffee. We stayed for a while and enjoyed all its graces. Go there, do that, don’t be a Goomba!Tomorrow we leave from Catania bound for Barcelona and two days of sights, sounds, smells, tapas and wine. Perhaps after a stroll on Las Ramblas we can slump into a Paella induced coma. Until Tomorrow!Mark
Give Way to Oncoming Traffic!
Most will know that the vast majority of European cars are much smaller than the ones driven on the highways and byways of North America. There are several reasons for that of course. Fuel is expensive, so a smaller car burns less. The roads in some places are quite narrow and a small car helps navigate those journeys in a safer manner.
Most of our travels up until yesterday in the highlands and on Skye have been on normal dual carriageways and therefore you could be driving a tank and still have plenty of room to manoeuvre. That abruptly stopped yesterday. Trying to fit our Ford Focus between the gravel shoulders has been akin to watching me trying to fit more than one leg into a pair of 32” waiste jeans.But miracles do happen and so far so good. Being attentive is key to survival. If a semi-truck fully laden with Cod is set for south when you are set for north on a road just a little narrower than the width of a Focus, then terror ensues. When I say terror I mean that phenomenon of fight or flight. That truck (lorry) is coming no matter what. What do you do? The clock is ticking. Do you break with force and reverse with vigor? Do you pull off to the left and hope that the peaty bog does not swallow you up and hold you hostage? Do you play chicken and hope not to become the latest in a plethora of hood ornaments on the massive Volvo truck speeding towards you?
Ten times out of ten I go with slam on the breaks and reverse trying not to deficate whilst screaming in terror. No, those are not tears you see. Tears or a show of emotion would be for big babies not experienced emergency vehicle operators such as myself. Suffice to say the only thing keeping me from my hotel bed and the fetal position is the liquid courage that comes in the form of a smokey golden viscous liquid produced from the purest of waters in the coldest of air.Over the last couple of days we have had the immense pleasure to make stops along our way at two of Scotland’s finest Scotch Distilleries. Yesterday was Dalwhinnie and today on Skye we took in Talisker. Dalwhinnie has the distinct geographic notoriety as Scotland’s highest and coldest distillery. On both accounts it did not disappoint. Several layers of clothing along with woollen accoutrements were required to brave the tour. Regardless of the conditions the tour was wonderful and we both learned a lot about the distilling process.
Deanna is not one who has enjoyed the spoils of a wee dram before, so the tasting experience after the tour was timely and thoroughly enjoyed by both of us. There was absolutely no pressure to buy as we concluded but that did not put us off and a bottle of the 15 year old and two complimentary glasses went into the shopping bag.We continued along the highway to Skye from the Highlands through the Cairngorms National Park. Our next stop was for an obligatory photo op at Eilean Donan Castle. I have seen hundreds of photos of this place in the past and it was just spectacular in person. We spent half hour just gazing across the bridge at its buttresses and ramparts. I am so glad the rain was on a tea break.
We made our way back into town for the COOP and picked up a few things for a picnic dinner in the room. As I sit here rambling I am almost driven to distraction from the winds outside pounding our windows from the west and the Irish Sea.I am sure that you are sick and tired of this nonsense by now so I will provide you with some sorely earned respite from my rubbishy stories. Tomorrow finds us heading southeast to Edinburgh and the hopes that we arrive in time to find a pub that does not hate the English so much that we can watch their team take on Ireland in 6 Nations Rugby action at 2:45 pm.
Live well!
THE PLANNING CONTINUES FOR TRIP #2 OF 2018.
Trip #2 kicked off for real at McRae’s Roadhouse, as it usually does when Dale and I hatch an evil plan. Evil may be taking a little poetic licence. It’s more of a master plan. Our original goal when we began to dream of travelling the world was to visit places that would challenge our resilience.Getting away for a couple of weeks from time to time is a big ask for spouses who are left carrying the bag, and for that support we are very thankful. Our mindset has been to always try to get to places that may be unsettling and uncomfortable yet all the while enjoyable and guarantee to forge indelible memories.Our initial thoughts for this upcoming journey was to travel to India by way of Dubai. As with our adventures in the past, gin and tonic has a sneaky way of opening up the scope of things to come. What started out as a journey to Mumbai, Goa and perhaps several places in between became (with the help of Bombay Sapphire Gin) “sure we can do that, but what about if we also include Kathmandu and Varanasi?”Now we’re talking. All those North face jackets and Arcteryx shirt, short and sock combos can be busted out of the travel tickle trunk. We are at last those guys that they make movies about. You know, the ones who adorn the posters at the Sundance Film Festival trekking up the Khumbu valley towards Everest base camp. There we are, locked in to an itinerary but we won’t purchase the tickets before we draw a sober breath and reconvene in a week’s time with some research done and some thoughtful perspective added to the mix.Our next meeting took place at Starbucks in Broadmead Village. We arrived well prepared with passports, laptops and research collected from third parties (colleagues and friends mostly). What happened next was unexpected and if I’m honest just a little sad. It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that we no longer need our trekking poles or a basic understanding of Hindi. It turns out that we had decided to book a trip to a country that at that time of the year happens to be experiencing its hottest weather. In addition to the heat, the humidity and fast approaching monsoons should make it a destination that we reschedule for a different spot on the calendar.So where to go and what to see? We discussed South Africa, South America and Scandinavia. Then came the old standby. Let’s get ourselves to London and go to as many places EasyJet and Eurorail can take us for the least amount of money. Some time on the old IPad netted the following results. It looks like the following might be the itinerary for our Europalooza 2018. London to Munich. Apparently they have beer, sausage, pigs knuckle and leather bib shorts there. Perhaps I may drop by the tailor?
From Munich we will travel by rail to Salzburg. I am a little bit of a classical music fan so I am looking forward to a string quartet or two. Salzburg, as luck would have it is also well stocked with Beer and Schnitzel. Next comes another train journey to Venice and the lagoon that surrounds it. As I am not a newbie to that area I know what to expect and I know that I love it. Hopefully the sun will be out by then and with sun comes the need for Beer (Moretti) and perhaps a little insalada mare’.Venice gives way to Sicily and a few days in a less travelled and unspoiled Italy. I cant wait to drive the south coast and take in the rich history and traditions on the island. The white wine from the foothills surrounding Etna is apparently top-notch. Perhaps a glass or two accompanied by the best cannoli in the world and you’ve got a winner. From Catania we EasyJet to Barcelona.Spain has a lot to offer and we hope to soak up the architecture, culture, vino and tapas. Barcelona then sees us fly away to the north and Toulouse as our final stop on the continent. Although I have spent some quality time in Provence I have never been to Toulouse. I am really looking forward to the things to see and do which may be accompanied by a bottle or two of Kronenbourg. From France we fly back to London for a couple of days of what London does. It’s a huge city but its still one of the best in the world. Of course I could go on and on in detail about these stops, but that will follow on the pages of this blog as we go. I hope you will find the time to accompany us along the way by catching up right here.Cheers!Mark
JUST A COUPLE OF THINGS TO PLAN FOR.
PLAN #1Over the past several months it has become abundantly clear that moss can only gather on a stone that rarely rolls. When I say moss I really mean fat, and when I say stone I really mean me. Work has consumed most of my time over the last couple of years, however mine is not a total tale of woe. If you have been keeping score at home you will recall I have broken free of the shackles occasionally. I have been lucky to sneak away on one or two little adventures here and there.
If you have found your way to this site in the past, you already know that the ramblings of this mad old traveller are all that is on offer. As a man with little in the way of a prowess for anything literary, I hardly fancy myself as being the next big thing in social influence pedaling. When I make superfluous statements that may not be in any way profound, just remember the following. “Life is hard, then you die”. Having spent just over a half-century on this planet I have seen a few things. Some good, some bad. I have met some wonderful people and sadly I have met some horrible ones as well. What is the most important thing to me is that wonderful people exist in much greater numbers. It is that knowledge that pushes me to see more of this planet in order meet more of the same.
Mainstream media did a great job throughout my formative years convincing me that things possessed are ninety-five percent of a good life lived. Over the last 10 years, I have come to realize (much later than I would have liked in retrospect) that in actuality their math was all wrong. People, places & experiences are really the only important part of life’s equation. “Things” are in fact and in deed not important to me anymore.I hate myself for writing that last paragraph already. I am never going to be that utopian hippy who makes it their life’s work renouncing the west, hard work and upholding the law. Especially if the alternative involves pedaling my “Fixie” to the thrift store wherein I forage for loose-fitting Thai pants and a Mexican blanket hoodie bedazzled with Tibetan prayer flags.
I don’t know which is more aggravating. Those who return to Canada adorned with the clothing of the 3rd world people they just have spent their gap year “posting to the gram” or those who I trip over at nearly every decent coffee shop planning their next adventure solely by tripadvisor scores.Many of the above-noted people and things shouldn’t bother me, but I am weak & they really do. As you can tell, I have not yet found that inner peace or zen my yoga practicing friends enjoy on the daily. I try to remember all the time I will soon have retirement to become enlightened and tolerant.As I alluded at the beginning of this instalment I have again slipped the shackles of work and as such I am in the throws of putting together two separate and splendid journeys that will take up a nice portion of the spring. The first is a trip to the UK with Deanna|. We have enjoyed short trips to the northwest of England in the past but this time we intend to get our hiking boots muddy in the Lake District. The plan is to climb from Dale Head Hotel to the top of Hellvelyn. It is a stunning peak in a stunning place. We have a few other ideas for additional hikes but as we knock them off I will write about them in more detail.
We need to keep that Lake District mojo going as we continue our journey all the way up to the Isle of Skye and various other outer Hebridean Islands. All the classic YouTube traveler spots are on the list. As a bit of an amateur landscape photography buff, I have to see the Old Man of Storr. If we tick that box early then we should have a few hours to tour several peat smoked barn conversions and enjoy a wee dram or two.
From there we intend to head south to the unspoiled beaches and parkland of Northumberland. Several nights in Newcastle as our home base will provide us with unfettered access to the countryside and the coast. Our time in the Northeast will transition by way of a relatively long car journey to Oxfordshire and the City of Dreaming Spires.It is there that we hope to explore the Chilterns by foot in order to get our first sense of the countryside that surrounds Oxford. With the wholesome outdoorsy piece attended to, we have several pubs on the Inspector Morse crawl yet to sample. It is my intention to get back to the Ashmolean Museum, the Bodleian library and sit on the banks of the Isis to take in the 8’s row past at the very least.My next instalment will document the initial planning phases of travel plan #2. Set for late April and early May, this one has more of a continental vibe.Cheers!Mark
EVERYONE ASKED IF I HAD SEEN THE ICEBERGS YET.
It is just under 4 hours from Anna’s garage to the Glacier lake known as Jokulsarlon. I left before sun-up around 8:30 this morning and I drove and I drove. I made a quick stop back in Vik to catch some different light down at the black beach. I think it was worth it.
By the time arrived at Jokulsarlon the sun was on its way back down. I have never chased light like this before for my photography. Seconds mean missing the perfect look or at least what I had Imagined.
I met a father around my age and his adult son. He asked where I was from and I told him expecting him to ask where is that. But no, he knew exactly where I was talking about. He and his family had traveled there by ferry twice in the last ten years. His son was wearing a Seattle Seahawks hat so I assumed that they were from the Pacific Northwest.
Wrong again. I asked where they were from and he responded Atlanta. He didn’t expect me to tell him I had been there twice for Baseball Showcase Tournaments. I then said we actually spent 90% of the time in Marietta just north of the ATL. He said that’s funny, that’s where we live. We stood about for thirty minutes in sub zero temperatures discussing our favorite Marietta restaurants and just occasionally icebergs and Iceland.Its a small world, remember that!Cheers,Mark
THE ROAD TO VIK
Today was nothing less than an epic journey along the south coast of Iceland. The highway from Selfoss to Vik is baron, wind swept and unbelievably beautiful. Waterfalls (Foss) draw your attention and you find yourself pulling off the road regularly to get a better look.
There are very few little places to stop for gas or refreshments but to be fair it is the middle of nowhere. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about that. In fact, I love it. Lunch in Vik was exceptional today. Not only for taste, presentation and location but also in price. I don’t know how locals afford it here. Seventy five Canadian dollars later for a 12” pizza and a beer (yikes).
I am staying in a very modern guest house just 500m from the beach looking south to the Heimaey Islands which stand several kilometres off shore. They rise from the black seas proudly with a unique boldness. Really picturesque to be sure. My Guesthouse is called the Garage. My host is Anna. What you see as you approach is for all intents and purposes a bunkhouse at the base of a mountain range.
When you step inside that all changes. This room is very cool and very modern. Anna has great taste.
I am here for two days then back tracking to Reykjavik for the last couple before returning home. I have an abandoned DC-3 wreck to find tomorrow along with a lake that has brilliant blue ice bergs floating up on to its beaches.
So far so very good!Cheers.Mark
YOU HAVE TO BE RESILIENT TO LIVE HERE!
For those who remember the 90’s Scandic Pop diva Bjork, you will be able to picture in your mind my first two hours at Iceland’s Keflavik Airport. There has not been too many times I can say that using Hotwire to book a hotel or rental car has gone bad. Last night in Paris I made one of my biggest travel mistakes ever by using Hotwire to book with Budget.A few steps into the arrivals lounge in Iceland and things became a lot clearer. There was 2 customers at Hertz. There were no customers at Europacar and there was approximately 45 people ahead of me in the Budget line. We all know that no matter how much time you take to be prepared for the rental agent with your licence and credit card at the ready, they are always going to try to up sell you and grind you as much as they can.It took just shy of two hours in line to make it to the desk and then this happened. BJORK’S evil twin stood before me. Perhaps the face of an Icelandic Angel but the savvy of the worst used car salesman imaginable crossed with the most accomplished serial killer you would never want to meet. It was hard to stand there knowing I was being defrauded of an extra $600.00, but pshyco Bjork continued unphased and clearly without remorse.Of course I purchased a comprehensive insurance package when I booked on line all the while thinking I was doing the right thing. Bad Bjork advised me that if I did not want to pay thousands of Icelandic Crowns for window chips or god forbid a paint chip as a result of one of those big “F*** OFF” 4-wheel drive trucks passing me, I needed to buy Budget insurance on top of what I already bought.Now normally I would have said no thanks, but you should have seen the expression on her face. I am not sure where she hid the hatchet under the counter but I am sure I saw her reaching for it before I caved. I said to evil Bjork I feel as though I am being held hostage by your sales pressure tactics. Crazy Bjork just shook her head in silence.
I left the airport with the keys for a VW Polo. We in North America don’t get the Polo at VW dealerships. If you picture a Golf and then slice off a third you have a Polo.
Upon eventually getting behind the wheel I was pleasantly surprised. Good in the snow and comfortable seats. The issues came at the time I wished to sit in it or get out of it. The process was akin to how a Lemans Driver enters his race car during the 24 hour championship. A shoe horn and wedges are useful.
Ok lets move on to Selfoss and the Icelandic countryside. It took me just over an hour to get to my hotel and upon arrival I was greeted by an Estonian girl who was on a work abroad vacation. She checked me in in no time flat. I dumped my bags and walked across the street to grab some water and a couple of snacks. It was about -7 degrees, which I know isn’t that bad but I am not that recently well practiced in dealing with anything resembling northern climes.
I hustled back to my room and was asleep in no time flat. Up with my alarm because if you waited for the sun to rise at 10 a.m. you wouldn’t get much done. I had breakfast at the hotel and packed the car for the Golden Circle Drive. I took some advice from the staff but my intention was to drive where I fancied and at my own pace. I stopped when I felt like it.
I met some lovely Icelandic Ponies. I visited several Geysirs and ended my day at Gullfoss waterfalls. A ton of things to do and see in Vik tomorrow.Cheers!Mark
DUNKIRK for just 20 minutes
I had a chance to drive west quickly the night before last to see as much of Dunkirk as I could. I set the GPS for the Allied Memorial and let google maps do the rest. An hour or so from Lille I was there. The wind was very strong and it was cold. No complaints though as many allied soldiers hit the beaches here and overcame a lot more than poor weather.I only had a short time to spend so I took a couple of photos and got back in the car to travel to Paris and check into my hotel near CDG for next the next phase of my journey to London with a connector to KEF airport in Iceland. Join you again from the Icelandic town of Selfoss..M.
I DON'T NORMALLY DO REVIEWS
'Sir, If you enjoyed your stay please tell your friends”.Today brings our last moments in Cozumel. And with a heavy heart we pushed our luggage along to the lobby to checkout from this Oceanside paradise. The lovely lady at the front desk of the Presidente’ Intercontinental Resort was just another exceptional example of the quality of staff that made our stay here unforgettable. It is truthfully hard to believe that this is the end of our stay here on the Island.
When we arrived here last week we were newbies to the East coast of Mexico and for that matter the Caribbean. We came not knowing what to expect if truth be told. The funk that hung over us due to my Japan trip blunder still weighed heavy in the very humid air.As I eluded to in a blog post last week, when life gives you lemons you have to make lemonade. The Presidente’ Resort helped us make truck loads of lemonade over the last 9 days. It will seem to many that this has become the ravings of the worlds biggest sycophant.
Those that know me will know that I don't actually like many things. I used to work with a guy that regularly mentioned there are 6 billion people on this planet, and that he liked 6 of them. I won’t go that far. I like at least five more than that and there is definitely room to grow given the right set of circumstances.So let's get down to it. The nice lady I spoke of earlier asked if I would tell our friends all about our stay and write a quick review for Trip Advisor. Dear Trip Advisor readers, please consider the Intercontinental Resort on island of Cozumel Mexico if you want an absolutely 5 star vacation. The rooms are beautiful. As your door opens you find immediate respite from the extreme heat by the wonderful and purposeful air conditioning. Our suite had french doors that opened up to a white sandy beach and brilliant turquoise water just beyond. Our rooms were maintained impeccably daily by a very well-trained team. The attention to detail is first class.
Once on the beach the service continues at a high level. The waiters that patrol the beach are athletic and attentive. They know instinctively when to approach for drink orders, replace beach towels and fetch ice. The waiters on the beach were not the only ones that stood by to make our stay so memorable. The gentlemen that worked in the Mexican restaurant soon learned our names and our preferences. The food was authentic and outstanding. I had the pleasure of trying several dishes that are from the Yucatan peninsula that I would have otherwise never enjoyed.The grounds are beautifully maintained by gardening staff. We soon got to recognize the faces of the fellows that pruned the palm trees and harvested the coconuts for the bar staff to use throughout the day. Without fail, you would get a huge smile and a warm greeting as you walked past them at work. The infinity pool and neighbouring beaches are incredible. If snorkelling with hundreds of different species of fish strikes your fancy, you would be in the right place. If you have your dive ticket you are also spoiled for choice with the abundance of companies that service the resort.
If parasailing is your pleasure then you are also in the right spot. I’m sure it ends somewhere but I could go on. To sum up, this place ensured our family had an awesome holiday and the will to return next year if everything comes to plan. This resort and its staff are to be congratulated as they provide a five-star service.
TAKE US TO THE LOBSTER SHACK PLEASE.
I had another title for today's blog but after much deliberation I have decided to go with this one. You see, without going into much detail I was going to make assertions that would probably upset and alienate too many people based on my stuffy old-fashioned biases. Whether I like it or not its 2017. Time marches on and so must I.
It's time to live and let live. Love and accept the many different things that people do to themselves to make them appear "unique" and forge on in a way that is non judgemental & be a strong proponent of vive la difference!Yesterday Mexico celebrated the day of the dead. This will come back to play a significant role in my story a little later. Yesterday afternoon, after many hours of snorkeling and lying about in the shade, it was time to make a decision about dinner and where to have it. I had been scouring the net for options in the town center and as such had found what appeared to fit the bill perfectly. Seafood in a bun, seafood in a bowl or seafood burritos. This place came highly recommended by hundreds before us as well as our lovely El Presidente Concierge Ana.All we had to do is request a cab and head towards what was shaping up in my imagination to be the experience of a lifetime. Our restaurant of choice tonight has countless five-star ratings on Google, Yelp, and the grand daddy of them all, Trip Adviser (Sorry Mr. Steves!!).
Ana hailed us a cab and soon afterwards we were driving at a pace akin to the speed of baby sea turtles, who (I recently learned) are born into the world from Cozumel's surrounding beaches. Today's driver was not as spry as our last (Juan). One could almost describe him as a dead man driving. I never quite got his name as he required what little energy he had left to drive his dilapidated Toyota Corolla from point A to B, let alone utter words.
Let's just say that I would be very surprised to to witness our driver survive the night to see mañana . Our nether-worldly driver appeared to be similar in stature to Juan but I couldn't swear to that as he never rose from his seat to get out of the cab. My guess is just under five feet tall, slim build and frail. From the Intercontinental Resort we meandered along Quintana Roo Road as mentioned earlier at a leisurely pace. Pedestrians strolled by us like we were standing still. Families of six all aboard their 125cc motorbike passed us like super bike riders racing the Isle of Man TT.
My beard was noticeably longer as we arrived at the city limits. If this was Juan at the wheel we would have been around the island once and lapped ourselves by now. My stomach was turning as I thought "oh my god", what is this going to cost us. If the meter goes by time and not distance we are going to have to sell fake Cuban cigars or god forbid, donkey rides on the beach to drunken Carnival Cruise day trippers to pay for this.
As we passed the Mega store I though to myself, that took us ten minutes last time. If this keeps up Deanna is going to have to bury me and our nameless driver together in this shock absorb-er-less Mexinese death trap. Deanna was happily perspiring to my left with nary a trouble in the world. I'm panicking Sky-walker!
So this continued for another five minutes before I said to Deanna, I mapped this place out on Google yesterday. It's just a five-minute walk from the Mega. By this time we were approaching wilderness and Cozumel Airport in the distance. Now, for the Talking Heads fans among us, I think these lyrics from their song "Once in a lifetime" will illustrate what was going on inside my head as I stared out of the cab.And you may ask yourselfWhat is that beautiful house?And you may ask yourselfWhere does that highway go to?And you may ask yourselfAm I right? Am I wrong?And you may say to yourself, "My God! What have I done?"
With the power invested upon me by the music of David Byrne, I summoned up the courage to ask a few questions of our octogenarian driver. I knew going into this that he only had so many breaths left to take so to keep my questions brief. "Señor are you driving to the Lobster Shack?" "Ci he replied!" "Are you sure?" "The Lobster Shack I asked again"? I could smell the synapses smoldering. Then came his reply. "Ci we go Lobster Shark".
What the ***k is a lobster shark? I just wanted a lobster sandwich. Now we are gonna be fed to lobster sharks. What are lobster sharks? I've never heard of them before. They sound like one of those hybrid villains I used to binge watch on Saturday morning Spider-Man cartoons as a lad.
Ok, I decide to throw caution to the wind and ask our driver to use what little life he has left to turn this wheelie coffin around and head back for the town centre. A while later we arrived. I asked him to pull over beside the nice man with a completely tattooed face and his pit bull so we could say our goodbyes.
Here it comes, 'how much Señor? 110 pesos Señor. So its 110 pesos to the Mega, or its 110 pesos to drive to the lobster shark feeding grounds and all the way back to tattooed face man. Ok, no argument here, and I paid the man before he ran out of time to spend it. I then turned and saw a Starbucks. This evening Starbucks stood in the distance like the Statue of Liberty. Starbucks was there to give respite to the poor, tired and huddled masses (as long as they buy an Americano).I just wanted their WiFi and damn it I got it. Hey Siri, find Lobster Shack. Three seconds later Siri says we are actually about 45 seconds away by foot. We follow the directions around the corner and there it is. Just as it looked in the dozens of photos attached to the reviews. Tables outside, menu looks awesome. It's closed!Good times!
YOU LIKE THE PICO DE GALLO AMIGO?
Paco and I have become fast friends. Paco is our ever-present waiter at Caribeno. Caribeno is one of four dining options here at El Presidente. There is a Mediterranean option, an Italian option, a creperie and Caribeno. I can't even begin to tell you what the other places are like because I love Mexican food. And as the man once said "when in Rome", you know the rest. Life is a beach, and here on the Island of Cozumel you can't stray far from one. If you despise white sand and turquoise water you better get your travel agent to look elsewhere as this place has it in spades. Only on one other occasion have I travelled to Mexico and that was sadly in my youth. My hazed recollections of that trip are PC and not for anything like this little blog. The upshot of that long ago adventure was that I swore to myself, I would never again travel across two borders to the south. As it turns out tequila has lasting and negative side effects that can deter you from travelling to what has turned out to be paradise. This resort is to me an excellent example of purposeful serenity. Now I know if you are a friend of the Aga Khan, you can travel to a private Xanadu somewhere in the Caribbean where unichs wave palms overhead and you can inject yourself (photo-bomb in Trudeau speak) into everyone's family photos because you think you are cool. But I'm neither cool nor a former on-call drama teacher, so that's not gonna happen.
You know sometimes when you see places in a glossy travel magazine, you think to yourself that cannot be real. So this story unfolds. This place is exactly how it appears in print and on the net. It is unreal. This is not an all exclusive and the prices for food and beverage are similar to at home so there is no savings in that regard. One can always opt to stay at an all-inclusive when in the Caribbean but upon reflection and with no personal experience to make the following statement. "With inclusivity comes a different vibe". The vibe that I can barely recollect from my youth when cerveza flowed like water and senseless waste was everywhere. Along with that vibe comes drunken buffoonery. Pearly white men in jean cut offs (to the knee) walking proudly about with a smoke perched over each ear and a different camo ball cap for every day of their stay. And before you ask that was never then or now me!!!!
On this trip I didn't need that. I didn't need anything to raise my blood pressure. Day one was already close to dropping the elephant right in his tracks given my "little" oversight. So here I am. Nobody has raised my eyebrows as yet. No one has been insulting or negative or even neutral in their demeanour. Everyone we have had the pleasure to meet has been so gracious and welcoming and proud. If you leave your chez lounge for a second someone sprints over to change your towel or refill your water. I greet everyone with a strong positive Ola! In return I get one back with Señor or better yet amigo tacked on to the end.
Yesterday afternoon we wandered into town by Taxi to visit the Mega Store. The Mega is where the locals shop here on the island. It reminded me of a Coop store you would find in the UK or Switzerland. Whatever you can think of the Mega has it. Just to back up a bit we asked the bell captain to order us a local cab. We are several miles out of the centre of town but it took just a couple of minutes for Juan to arrive. Once again we were greeted by a man in his late 50's who wore the biggest smile and the most humble of personalities. Juan drove us into town in his white Chevy compact cab. For such a small car on the outside the interior was fit for three of me. Leg room o'plenty and with the windows down and 90 miles an hour who needs air con? It's probably time to qualify the abundance of leg room comment just made. Perhaps if Juan was over five feet tall I may have struggled.
A few minutes later and we were into the store and Juan stood by for our return. We loaded up with a cooler, 24 bottles of 2 litre water, 18 Corona, Queso, Jamon, Bread, flip flops (cause three days ago I was going to Japan), and several other items. Some of those items may have been corn chips and salsa verde.
Twenty minutes later we emerged and loaded our purchases into Juan's cab. Done and done and we headed back towards El Presidente'. On the way we passed countless locals riding two up on their scooters. No need for rider protection wear in this country. En route back we did have a moment of shock which turned out to be hilarity just as we passed the cruise ship port for the island. Clearly there is no sobriety test required to rent a jeep on this island as the following happened right in front of our eyes.
Two millennial females passed by us like we were standing still. One drove as the other thought it was appropriate to be taking numerous standing selfie videos on her Iphone. They both clearly thought a lot of themselves by their actions & demeanour . The pursed lips and the posing was a dead giveaway. It was just as big a surprise for us as it was to the standing millennial when her driver and former BFF smashed the brake peddle throwing her former and recently standing friend's face into the windshield. Let's just say her selfie career is going to have to be put on hold for a couple of years unless she can get back to Miami and see her plastic surgeon ASAP. Juan uttered a single word "stupido". I like Juan!
Today, breakfast brought huevos rancheros with a healthy amount of pico de gallo, I asked for seconds! You now know where today's blog title fell from. Today brings more sun and tropical breezes. Deanna is lying under a palm umbrella . Allistair is breaking in his snorkelling gear and I sit in the shade telling stories. Bueno!
I HAVE SO MUCH EXPLAINING TO DO!
I have so many apologies to make. My wife, my son, the kiosk ticketing agents I took a shot at yesterday. I still can't come to grips with what has happened to us in the last 24 hours. The rush of emotions including guilt and shame combined with the overwhelming feeling of stupidity. Yesterday I made reference to being in my 50's, feeling my mortality and emptying the bucket list. Today I have to swap that malarkey for "I just had a senior moment" and the unrelenting "am I loosing it introspections?"
I guess it's now time to explain. Tuesday morning saw us early to rise, pull the drapes and peer across the runway at YVR to watch the early morning flights rolling towards the south runway and readying themselves for the off. We went to the lounge and had breakfast knowing all to well that we had 6 hours or so to right ourselves before departure. Deanna and I soon after jumped aboard the sky train and rode the rails like shopping hobos for two stops to get to McArthurglen Outlet mall.
One Should Winter in Monte Carlo.
I CALL THIS ONE STRUBARB
Its been a couple of days since I last wrote but as we have been so busy well into the evenings I have not had the energy since being back in the UK. This morning I find myself looking out from my bedroom window southward into an overcast but as yet dry morning. Not much happens in this very small Lake District town in the National Park.On Sunday we touched down in the UK at Newcastle International Airport. We quickly rented a car and were off to the coast so I could do a bit of tour guiding around my first home and many of the sights in the area. We first stopped in for fish and chips in North Sheilds and sat overlooking the mouth of the Tyne River as ferry boats were leaving back towards Holland. The weather was perfect so we sat there for 45 minutes in the sun.
From there it was a drive along the coast to the north thru Tynemouth, Cullercoats, and Whitley Bay. We weren't the only ones soaking up the evening sun as the roads were busy and the walkers filled the coastal paths. Once we could clearly see St. Mary's lighthouse we pulled off the road and walked down to photograph it as the sun set.After a while the travel of the day began to catch up so we decided to pop in to the pub just around the corner from my old family home in the village of Cullercoats. The Sandpiper has never changed on the outside since 1972, but inside it has been redecorated into a super cool casual yet quite uncharacteristicly hip lounge feel. The chairs are covered in floral prints and most of the accouterments are in the color of sandstone. We each had a half a pint and vowed to return. A quick spin by the old house and then into Newcastle and the Holiday Inn Express in the center of the city.For a Sunday evening I could not get over the thousands of students out on the streets. Apparently Newcastle has become one of the country's favorite college towns. Three large campuses interwoven throughout the city overwhelms all other businesses to be seen. We got to sleep early and then early to rise. We were up, had our free breakfast and gone.
We headed over the Tyne Bridge and set sail for a little village where my grandparents lived to survey any change and wander the beach. Job done and then we walked about the little shops. Thankfully this place has not changed one iota because it is a very pretty and quaint.More driving and looking about and then back into Newcastle to have dinner with friends. Now it must be said that I had asked earlier in the day if we could have an Indian meal as it is my favourite and where I live good South Asian restaurants are rare.We met our friends at the Bodega pub for a few real ales and then pushed on to a place thirty yards from the HIE.
I believe AKBARS is a chain of restaurants in the north of England. Most of their dishes are Pakistani in spice origin which little did I know continues to effect you in a weird way 36 hours later. Oh my babaji was that hot. The yogurt accompanyment was unable to do its job. The Tiger beer was also useless. On fire people. When I asked the waiter how you ever get used to this he replied with his hands up in the air and his head moving from side to side " oh sir I do not eat this food. This is Pakistani and I am from Bangladesh. We do not eat such spicy food. I recommend a Bangladeshi restaurant for you sir".Well that advice was just a little tardy in our current sweaty state so we plod on and devour the flames like a fire eating side show freak at the carnival.
The thing was the meal was excellent. It tested your metal but was excellent none the less. We bid farewell to our friends who graciously treated us and promised to return next year to repay the favour. It was awesome to spend that time together. Guts churning but happy it was straight to bed for early to rise.After breakfast we loaded the car and left westward to Cumbria through the Tyne valley. The highway follows Emporer Hadrian's wall built in Roman conquest times to keep the angry Scots from entering without going through passport control.There are well preserved stretches of the wall visible from the highway as well as Roman forts. The sights and sounds don't stop with the Romans. We made a great decision to visit the town of Hexam.
It is a stunning place near to perfect in every way. I could live here as well. The town center is built around an abbey that can be dated back to the first century A.D.We met an elderly man inside who was a keen historian and volunteer who regaled us with many very interesting facts. I really could go on forever as he and this place were fantastic. We left the abbey and wandered the tight back streets to mail a postcard and enjoy market day in the town square. From Hexam we continued to Carlisle where Angus toured the university while I sat in the sun. Gus was suitably impressed and came away with lots of information.
We had a drive around Carlisle and then pushed on 31 miles south to the Lake District and our next AirBnB operated by Jan from South Africa. Jan told me that he met his local wife when her family emigrated to his country 40 years ago. They had been wanting to move back for many years and when the opportunity knocked they bought two listed GrII houses next door to each other. One they BnB and the other they live in. He took me in and immediately you could tell you were in a home built in the 17th century. Every doorway was small and the stairs narrow. But all that to say it was excellent. Two of its best features were that it was less than 5 minutes from the Bitter End and Swann pubs. We spent a couple of hours chatting to the bartender while enjoying the locally brewed Jennings bitter. Great host and very chatty.
At the Swann is where it got hyper British. In the snug next to our table sat a dozen blue haired coffin dodgers all having a pint or cup of tea while discussing the virtues of the right crackers to have when one is sampling different chutneys. Of course tonight was the night that the local gardners guild was having a little best of show competition to judge the years best chutney in the village. Gripping stuff and clearly very serious given the general conversation. They soon had me convinced this was not for the faint hearted. Then Tom took the floor to introduce his entry for 2016. Ladies and gents, I call this one "Strubarb". I have painstakingly blended the sweetest of seasonal strawberries and the tartest rhubarb to make this.
A deafening hush came upon the room. What was this abomination, this isn't cricket old boy. This is a traditional group, we don't go in for Strubarb. Sorry old man, not this year. Tom snatched his jar and crackers and stormed off. Serious group, serious chutney. It was good to know chutney is not up to anyones interpretation. To end the night was a walk to the late night chippy for the obligatory beer mop. Haddock and chips twice please. Order filled and back to Jan's place. BBC ten o'clock news, devour and sleep!Cheers!Mark
