VIVA ESPAÑA

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Barcelona has left an unbelievably positive impression on us both. It felt like it could easily be home with a huge mix of many ingredients. A big city without the feeling of congestion or pressure. It’s hard to encapsulate so many sights, sounds, and smells in a short story and I am not about to do it justice.Landing here on Saturday afternoon we jumped in a cab (they hate Uber) and made our way into the city in around 20 minutes or so.

Our driver told us he was the son of a Spanish father and a Dominican mom. He was born in the Dominican Republic but had shared his 50 or so years on this planet between both. This guy was a super happy soul and a very proud citizen of Barcelona.

I could not have had a better view. A 2-1 Barca lead was levelled by Real Madrid center forward and Welshman Gareth Bale in the second half that saw out 90 minutes and 10 minutes of injury time. Every one of those minutes were filled with the voices of Barca fans with their songs and cheers. At the final whistle I wandered slowly from the stands and met up with Dale in the agreed location. We revelled in the experience and then made our way home. So late to bed and early to rise. Our plane left Barcelona this morning for London at 7:10. It was a great flight on EasyJet once again with speedy boarding.

So here we are back in old blighty. The sun is out big time and we are gonna head for the train into town, the Grosvenor Hotel is our digs for the next couple of days.

Live Well! 

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WE HAD TIRAMISU AND THEN WE HAD ANOTHER TIRAMISU.

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It feels like we just arrived in Murano a few minutes ago and now we are set to leave the lagoon with seriously heavy hearts. I join you from seat 15F on Volotea flight # 1260. The journey that lead us to our spacious and comfortable seats on this somewhat antique Boing 717 (never heard of them) was almost stress free considering that our day began at 04:50. I will get back to that near the conclusion of today’s blog but for now I will recap our last 48 hrs in Venice and Murano.Upon arrival at Santa Lucia railway station we left our train on platform 3 and made our way to the exit.  That exit immediately draws your attention to the Grand Canal and that all important first impression for a visitor to Venice. Given our evening arrival time the station was busy and full of life. If you believe what you read on numerous travel websites, one is supposed to closely guard ones personal items from the foreign gentlemen who are notorious for sticky fingers and general thievery. As those of you who know me and my travel companion, I think you will agree that we are not afraid to scream obscenities with tyrannical facial expressions at anyone who gets inside our hula hoop (so to speak).

So without incident of theft we stood and took in the sites,sounds and smells for several minutes before committing to the water bus ticket office and the purchase of our transport to Murano. Just mere seconds before we stepped forward to pay a very kind Roman lady tapped Dale on the shoulder and gave us her unused tickets that were good until 22:00. She explained she was just about to board her train for home and wished to pass them on.With that good fortune and a 14 euro savings we began our voyage to Murano Colonno with even wider smiles. The journey was fabulous as always and the warm humid  air took me right back to past visits. Some time for a few photos along the way and in no time really we were jumping off at Colonno station and making our way to meet Flavia at her Airbnb.

We arrived at #51 on Murano’s main canal amongst a hubbub of activity that I for one was not expecting. There is a bridge that crosses the canal adjacent to Flavia’s place that was being used as a set for what was in actual fact a full on Bollywood film production. The eponymous hero and his beautiful love interest were walking gracefully towards each other from either side of the bridge with that loving gaze that only Bollywood can do.  We watched and watched as one does when they come upon a Bollywood movie set. I later texted a friend at home that encouraged me to somehow find my way into the cast as a back up dancer. I am well known for doing a graceful screwing in of the lightbulb (no offence intended to my Indian friends but I am vacant to that particular dance’s real name).

Flavia was a lovely lady and quick to welcome us to her very modern and recently renovated apartment one floor above the canal. She showed us around and intimated that she could make up the second bed if we would like. I don’t think her gaydar was functioning properly as I’m usually not mistaken for being in a same sex relationship. Dale quickly explained that we would require both beds and soon after the penny dropped and Flavia was picking up what we were putting down.We stowed our gear and made our way down the canal for dinner at a local pizzeria. I had the Siciliano and Dale the prosciutto. A couple of Moretti’s and the evening was well on its way. The pizza was excellent and the service was very good. Surprisingly we opted for no Dolce after dinner but there was room for another Moretti.Once we pushed back from the table, we paid, said our goodbyes and walked off to explore the neighbourhood at night. As in my past experiences here you could have heard a pin drop as we wandered and wandered through a serpentine maze of paths along the water.

Probably just enough exercise to ward off the pizza night terrors and there we were back at Flavia’s. Asleep in seconds and early to rise as there is no time like 06:00 to head back to Venice to visit all the biggies before the cruise ships disembark and the bus tours arrive. Believe it or not after 20 minutes of wandering the Jewish Ghetto we arrived at St. Mark’s Square just in time to share it with four or five other people. As you know it is a huge place and if you arrive anytime after 10:00 you will be surrounded by literally tens of thousands of witless drones following their disenchanted flag waving guides who appear to be giving off that please shoot me now vibe. Well thankfully we can report no such encounters as we beat the rush. From the piazza we took in the bridge of sighs and the Realto before disappearing back into the neighbourhoods for a couple more cappuccinos and pane’ chocolato.Upon inhaling those it was time to fulfill a dream of Dale’s to try the Culatello ham from a local butcher who seemed pleased to chat. I suppose you have to pay lip service to a customer who is willing to pay 12 euros for 50 grams of what turned out to be a perfectly cured ham that tasted like an angel peeing on your tongue. By 12:00 we were back aboard the ferry to Murano and wandering the glass factories that it is known for. No it’s not where Nissan makes useless SUV’S. Dale had a quick haggle as he is used to do and moments later he was in possession of a gift. I on the other hand don’t have that entrepreneurial spirit and choose poorly to pay full price.

Back to Flavia’s and an afternoon siesta to ward off the effects of several hours on the hoof as they say. I was woken by the sound of my FaceTime alert and answered a call from my eldest son who was just back from driving his olive drab G-Wagon through the flood waters of Fredericton New Brunswick. He described the horrible damage to the local homes and the work that his comrades with the combat engineers were doing to stem the tides.  It was really nice to chat to Mackenzie and after half an hour we parted company and Dale and I packed our bags for the last ferry to Marco Polo airport and our stay at the nearby Best Western Titian.We grabbed a cab from the airport and were checking in 5 minutes later. Our new friend Stefanie at the desk was very helpful and checked us in very quickly. Our first room was somewhat small and some may say set up for a couple. To say it was a little tight may have been an understatement so we returned to visit Stefanie with a request to move to a more appropriate space. Stefanie was there to help and next thing we knew we were moving to room 237 which turned out to be a three bedroom apartment with room to spare. Stefanie also suggested we visit a local restaurant for locals around 300 hundred metres away. Well that couldn’t have gone much better. Mussels in a white wine broth and Venetian Shrimp on small beds of polenta for the first course. That was followed by the local sea bream and a mixed grill of beef, lamb and pork. Both were accompanied by mixed grilled seasonal veggies. After a leisurely meal we were asked if we would like some Dolce? Of course we would and to be sure when in the Veneto one must have the tiramisu. Now I’m not sure what heavenly ingredients they used in their local preparation of this inexplicably good potion but suffice to say it had the capability of turning us both into tiramisu junkies immediately.

So much so that after we licked the generous serving glasses clean we experienced that undeniable craving that you get when you need another hit. So there we are almost mainlining tiramisu in front of the clearly horrified staff. In fact, if I hadn’t come clean to the waiter when we paid he would have struck the second two from the bill as no one in their right mind has two.  A short walk back to the Titian and I was able to catch the last ten minutes of the Liverpool vs Roma game. Roma slam two in the back of the net to break the tie and win 4-2.So there, we are now flying 37000 feet above Naples and 45 minutes from Catania. From what we read a rainy Sicily awaits our arrival. Perhaps the convertible Fiat Spider won’t get that chance to loose it’s hat but if our luck continues, perhaps the clouds will part and we can happily motor through the hill towns with an accompaniment of the three tenors singing their operatic hearts out.

Until next time!

Caio

Marco

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PEOPLE SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS AND AUSTRIA

The time has come to place my new carryon size wheelie bag in the car and kindly ask Deanna to drive me out to the airport so that I can meet Dale and our journey can begin in earnest.  The weather at Victoria International Airport was best described as “meh” and as such I didn’t feel that we were going to be missing much while we are away for the next 10 days.Today’s journey will be of epic length and will include three planes, one train and at least a couple of automobiles. For those keeping score at home, I have indeed just mentioned that our journey could be considered very similar to a movie from the 80’s where two fellows decide through necessity to travel together from New York to Chicago. Our journey neither starts nor ends in the Windy City, however it does begin on Vancouver Island and will hopefully finish some 27 hours later in Austria.

I suppose many of the keen movie buffs amongst you are wondering who of us most resembles the character played by the late great John Candy on this adventure. Suffice to say that I just had to remind Dale that those aren’t pillows he is jamming his hands into.After we organized boarding passes and said our goodbyes we made our way to CATSA screening and stepped into the abyss. It wasn’t too busy but unfortunately it was also understaffed and therefore slow going.The slow moving cue eventually split and along with several American ladies I was directed towards the furthest X-ray station. As there were only five travellers in our group, I soon began to wonder why it was taking so long to get to the point I could remove my IPad, small liquids and gels and place them gently into the neatly stacked white plastic bins as you do at every airport I have ever been to around the world.I stepped back a little to see if I could figure it out the delay.

It was no surprise I suppose that each of these ladies had believed it was a great idea to place each souvenir purchased, each piece of clothing worn and each copy of People Magazine read into their open top shopping bags.  Just to further complicate things, the lovely and patient shepherd herding sheep today for CATSA had to ask that most of these items be separated and placed in additional bins.Upon completion of this seemingly arduous task I clearly overheard the shepherd ask if they had any electronic devices that they had not yet removed from their bags. The reply he got was quite unequivocal. “No” and with that the first bin was pushed along the rollers and into the X-ray.It disappeared for a moment and then soon returned back at breakneck speed. The shepherd asked if the owner of the bags in that particular bin if she was traveling with an IPad? The reply was “yes”. That was countered with “I thought you just told me you had no electronics in your bag?” A simple question I thought. But not so simple as it turned out. The lady in question replied that “in the states they have a different definition of electronics”.An IPad does not meet that definition apparently. Clearly the Kindle and IPhone subsequently appearing from the same bag moments later further pointed to the flawed Canadian broader definition of electronics.

We as Canadians need to stop causing real hardships for confused cross boarder shoppers. Perhaps Trudeau can publicly apologize (with tears) for that as well. He seems to be good at apologizing to everyone for everything.We got through eventually and we soon found a couple of stools to sit on at Spinnakers in the downstairs departure lounge. We sat there for an hour and then moved towards our gate.With typical WestJet banter the flight was called and we made our way aboard with high hopes of clear skies to Calgary. Our row was shy one passenger so we had tons of room. An hour or so later and we were on the ground in Calgary. A smooth transition to the international side and there we grabbed some dinner.After dinner we moved next door to a nicely appointed lounge called VIN. This place was a little upmarket but this is a vacation so a little treat can’t hurt.I soon spotted a sixty something man sitting on his own against the back wall attired from head to toe in Saskatchewan Roughriders apparel. For those who don’t know much about the Canadian Football League, this means he was dressed completely in green complimented with white logos.Initially I thought this guy must be a super fan who is getting in the spirit several months before the season kicks off. He must be just killing time in international until he meanders back to the domestic side to catch a flight home to Regina.  

We sat down next to the super fan in question and I was just about to chat him up when his extremely forlorn looking wife appeared and slumped in the chair adjacent.Our perceptive waiter was soon to inquire if everything was ok. The rest is comedy gold and I will confidently state now that nothing will make me “LOL” harder on this trip than her well considered response.  She took a deep breath as if she was about to weep and then explained she had just returned from checking the departure board and to her dismay their flight had been really delayed.The waiter asked where they were flying. Her response was to my surprise London. Before you judge me I just thought there aren’t many destinations on this planet that you would wander about dressed like a leprechaun with footballs silkscreened on your chest, London included.  She went on to explain to the waiter that they were supposed to leave at 6:50 pm. The departure board now says the flight has been delayed to 18:50. That’s a really long time and the price of the waiters rum was very expensive.The waiter replied compassionately that he was sorry about the prices but the bastard never even thought about explaining the 24 hour clock to the misguided Rider faithful. With that she acquiesced and ordered another expensive rum and a half carafe of Diet Coke “on the side”.It wasn’t long before we were aboard WS1 bound for Gatwick and seated one row behind the privileged once again. Story of my life.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. WestJet operates transatlantic flights with a no frills service. You may purchase a meal if you wish. Don’t expect a blanket but the crew are cheerful and seem to really care about their customers.So much so that 4 hours into the journey our flight attendant came on the PA to request us to pull down our window blinds. She went on to advise that soon we would be “flying near the sun” and some passengers may prefer to sleep. Now I’m no historian but as I recall flying near the sun was not such a great idea for Icarus.I rejoin you today from Platform 2 at Salzburg railway station. We are resting after an 05:30 alarm and subsequent walking tour (self guided) through old Salzburg.  Last night after a picturesque train journey from Munich we quickly stored our luggage in our room at the very hip Villa Carleton Hotel and then boarded a cab for a local beer garden. This place had several floors of beer halls and numerous food vendors that all had their own version of roast chicken and wurst. We drank a customary litre of the house brau and scoffed a couple curry wurst. A little bit of carnivore nirvana.

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The Last Bus (Actually Hyundai) to Woodstock.

Today was an awesome day, as was yesterday.  Yesterday we spent our time driving through the dales of County Northumberland and County Durham.  The villages were friendly and quaint and the feel of all of them was inviting and warm.Intially we set sail west along the Tyne Valley towards a small Roman town by the name of Corbridge.  We had stopped there for a short time last year but this time we made sure to soak up more of what it had to offer.  We parked in the market town square upon arrival and then promptly asked a local where to get the best breakfast in town.
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OPULENCE, NOTHING LESS.

If you live on Vancouver Island and you wish to travel to far off destinations, the best travel deals usually start on the mainland just a 90 minute ferry ride away.  For the last couple of years I have become a slave to Chris Myden and his YVR Deals page on twitter.  Lately there have been some exciting and very reasonable offers that will certainly aid me in seeing a few parts of the world I have never seen.  Turning 50 does come with a mortality check and a bucket list.When one travels by car to the Vancouver International Airport on an average day, it requires the patience of Jobe and the reflexes of an Olympic fencer. Firstly one must assume the position of a tie fighter pilot.  One must feel the force. One must out last the relentless attacks by the Empire's pilots to survive (Whalley-Newton Cabbies).If you arrive in tact, you must then solve for X to figure out the parking puck system.  If you succeed and qualify for a spot on Jeopardy you now have the pleasure of humping your bags from the car to the departure level.With those steps behind you it's time to do your best lemming impression and line up to check your bags and get your boarding passes.  I know, I know, you can use the self-service kiosks.  If they were so simple why do they have an attendant who dearly wishes they had passed the cabin crew test to help you navigate it (not you LuLu).Ok, so you are checked in and you have said goodbye to your bags (maybe for the last time). And now you must make your way through security.  If all goes well and you get to keep your shoes on you can make your way to one of the copious eating or drinking establishments where the staff will soon commence a complete fleecing of all your wool at cheque time.Today is different, today is one of the nicest travel days I have ever had.  And the weird part is I haven't even gone anywhere yet.  Yesterday I made the executive decision to throw caution to the wind and bust out the old Fairmont Hotels Presidents Club Card.  Yesterday It was a very simple process that saw me inquire, decide and book  a room at the Vancouver Airport Fairmont Hotel on their app in no time flat.  Not only did I choose this as a preface to travelling to Japan tomorrow, I went one further.  Would you like to upgrade to the Gold Level Mr. Catto?  Let me see, do I want 24 hour concierge service? Do I want unfettered access to the gold lounge for canapés, evening deserts, the honor bar and first in line at the Spa?  Yes I think I do!IMG_0001So here I sit with my feet up in my room 24 hours before I leave for Osaka.  I am listening to the in room music service play classical guitar.  Music soothes the savage beast they say.  They must be right.  I have not felt like yelling at anyone in several hours.  I have no idea what the selection of canapés and beverages might look like when we cross the hall to the Gold Lounge.  There is no apprehension here, I have trained myself for this showdown.  Suffice to say I shan't be unhappy.yvrdeals.comwww.fairmont.com/VancouverAirport
  
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JUST NEED A LITTLE BIT LONGER.

Here I sit by gate H3 at Fiumancino Airport waiting for flight BA 551.  I am just minutes away from boarding the first leg of my return journey to Heathrow Airport in London.  I have quite a wait there.  Thats ok as there is a lot to do and see nowadays.  Gone are the days of luke warm tea poured by a somewhat disinterested 50 something lady of questionable hygiene.  In days gone by the most you could expect is that she may ask you if you want her to pour milk in it for you.  God forbid that you would be trusted to pour your own milk.Heathrow used to be an airport where the sights, sounds and smells would be enough to put you off ever leaving your couch let alone travel across the world.  Pleasantly London's busiest airport has morphed into a veritable cornucopia of food, beverage and shopping options.  Gone are the pathetic single slice ham on white bread sandwiches and hello to Pret A’ Manger.I have mixed emotions about today.  It has been a long time away from family that I dearly miss but I have also thoroughly enjoyed 98% of my time over the last three weeks.  Of course there are going to be highlights or lowlights anytime you experience as many places as we have.
From the first week in Rome at Claudio’s lovely apartment in Aurelia to our adventures in the North of England and the Scottish Borders we saw and experienced as much as we could.  Upon our return to the continent, we kicked it off by spending way too long at the Thrifty Car Rental counter (lowlight) in Rome but I t turned out to be worth the wait as it was there that we were given the key to our new Fiat 500 in “bianco”.  Not so long afterwards we named him Anthony.Anthony took us on a journey that included: Siena, Pisa, Genoa, San Remo, San Tropez, Cannes, Monte Carlo, Nice, Pertuis, the Luberon (in all its glory), Gap, Grenoble, Geneva, Zermatt, Milan, Florence, Cortona and finally back to Rome.We paid dozens of tolls to drive Anthony on both French and Italian highways.  We felt some reprieve from that highway robbery (pardon the pun) in Switzerland.  Thank you Swiss people for being clean and tidy and exact and punctual and clean and exact and punctual and tidy.  When possible we have really enjoyed the B roads and can only continue to endorse taking them as much as you can and whenever you can.We have paid dearly to eat as of course the pound and the euro are still kicking the crap out of Trudeau’s dollar.  We have scarfed tons of grocery store fresh baked pizza.  Many of my pizza choices were accompanied by a portion of anchovies in chilli olive oil.  We have lived and eaten as close to the locals as possible wherever and whenever we could.  Of course there was that one day of indiscretion in Monaco when both Starbucks and McShit took our hard earned Euros.  What are you gonna do.  Desperate times call for etc etc.Our most expensive meal, even though it was good but simple fair was at the Brown Cow Pub in Zermatt. Our best meal is a tuff call.  Nonni’s in Lourmarin or the most stunning hotel I have ever visited in Cortona.  The Relais Villa Petrischio is exceptional in setting, service, experience and value.  If you Google this place I think you will be suitably impressed.  We had a gourmet 3 course meal with a wonderful accompanying vino rosso.  The primi platti was a local charcuterie board that was followed by two spectacular in presentation and flavour pasta dishes.  This entire experience was presented in a 360 degree glass structure overlooking Tuscany in all its glory.  We both walked out with a bill just under 60.00 Euros. I don’t want to forget about our experience at Nonni’s as that was first class as well. I am boarding now.  Must fly, I will rejoin you in London.Back again, seated at Rhubarb.  Rhubarb is self described as a very British restaurant in terminal 3 at Heathrow.  I have perused the very British menu to find that the first three options are chicken tikka masala, chilli con carne and smashed avocado on toast.  I guess it has been a really long time since I lived here.  I kept reading down the menu to find a full English breakfast option that has turned out to be wonderful.  Not what I expected at the time I ordered.  This restaurant is a fine example of how Britain's membership in the EU is a good thing.The plethora of young energetic eastern european staff are multi lingual, very attentive and well turned out.  I will refer you back to where I started this diatribe with my memories of the Heathrow tea lady with dirty fingernails of old.  Times do change for the better.  I hope Brexit doesn’t screw this up.  But it probably will.I have 5 more hours to kill here today.  Its not going to be easy.  There is only so much perfume immersion overkill one can endure as you shuffle through the numerous duty free shops.  Bottom line is its time to set sail for the west coast of Canada and a return to work.  I can’t wait to be reunited with everyone at home and look forward to seeing them at YVR.Thanks for following along over the last few weeks, where to next?Mark
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I CALL THIS ONE STRUBARB

Its been a couple of days since I last wrote but as we have been so busy well into the evenings I have not had the energy since being back in the UK. This morning I find myself looking out from my bedroom window southward into an overcast but as yet dry morning. Not much happens in this very small Lake District town in the National Park.On Sunday we touched down in the UK at Newcastle International Airport. We quickly rented a car and were off to the coast so I could do a bit of tour guiding around my first home and many of the sights in the area. We first stopped in for fish and chips in North Sheilds and sat overlooking the mouth of the Tyne River as ferry boats were leaving back towards Holland. The weather was perfect so we sat there for 45 minutes in the sun.

From there it was a drive along the coast to the north thru Tynemouth, Cullercoats, and Whitley Bay. We weren't the only ones soaking up the evening sun as the roads were busy and the walkers filled the coastal paths. Once we could clearly see St. Mary's lighthouse we pulled off the road and walked down to photograph it as the sun set.After a while the travel of the day began to catch up so we decided to pop in to the pub just around the corner from my old family home in the village of Cullercoats. The Sandpiper has never changed on the outside since 1972, but inside it has been redecorated into a super cool casual yet quite uncharacteristicly hip lounge feel. The chairs are covered in floral prints and most of the accouterments are in the color of sandstone. We each had a half a pint and vowed to return. A quick spin by the old house and then into Newcastle and the Holiday Inn Express in the center of the city.For a Sunday evening I could not get over the thousands of students out on the streets. Apparently Newcastle has become one of the country's favorite college towns. Three large campuses interwoven throughout the city overwhelms all other businesses to be seen. We got to sleep early and then early to rise. We were up, had our free breakfast and gone.

We headed over the Tyne Bridge and set sail for a little village where my grandparents lived to survey any change and wander the beach. Job done and then we walked about the little shops. Thankfully this place has not changed one iota because it is a very pretty and quaint.More driving and looking about and then back into Newcastle to have dinner with friends. Now it must be said that I had asked earlier in the day if we could have an Indian meal as it is my favourite and where I live good South Asian restaurants are rare.We met our friends at the Bodega pub for a few real ales and then pushed on to a place thirty yards from the HIE.

I believe AKBARS is a chain of restaurants in the north of England. Most of their dishes are Pakistani in spice origin which little did I know continues to effect you in a weird way 36 hours later. Oh my babaji was that hot. The yogurt accompanyment was unable to do its job. The Tiger beer was also useless. On fire people. When I asked the waiter how you ever get used to this he replied with his hands up in the air and his head moving from side to side " oh sir I do not eat this food. This is Pakistani and I am from Bangladesh. We do not eat such spicy food. I recommend a Bangladeshi restaurant for you sir".Well that advice was just a little tardy in our current sweaty state so we plod on and devour the flames like a fire eating side show freak at the carnival.

The thing was the meal was excellent. It tested your metal but was excellent none the less. We bid farewell to our friends who graciously treated us and promised to return next year to repay the favour. It was awesome to spend that time together. Guts churning but happy it was straight to bed for early to rise.After breakfast we loaded the car and left westward to Cumbria through the Tyne valley. The highway follows Emporer Hadrian's wall built in Roman conquest times to keep the angry Scots from entering without going through passport control.There are well preserved stretches of the wall visible from the highway as well as Roman forts. The sights and sounds don't stop with the Romans. We made a great decision to visit the town of Hexam.

It is a stunning place near to perfect in every way. I could live here as well. The town center is built around an abbey that can be dated back to the first century A.D.We met an elderly man inside who was a keen historian and volunteer who regaled us with many very interesting facts. I really could go on forever as he and this place were fantastic. We left the abbey and wandered the tight back streets to mail a postcard and enjoy market day in the town square. From Hexam we continued to Carlisle where Angus toured the university while I sat in the sun. Gus was suitably impressed and came away with lots of information.

We had a drive around Carlisle and then pushed on 31 miles south to the Lake District and our next AirBnB operated by Jan from South Africa. Jan told me that he met his local wife when her family emigrated to his country 40 years ago. They had been wanting to move back for many years and when the opportunity knocked they bought two listed GrII houses next door to each other. One they BnB and the other they live in. He took me in and immediately you could tell you were in a home built in the 17th century. Every doorway was small and the stairs narrow. But all that to say it was excellent. Two of its best features were that it was less than 5 minutes from the Bitter End and Swann pubs. We spent a couple of hours chatting to the bartender while enjoying the locally brewed Jennings bitter. Great host and very chatty.

At the Swann is where it got hyper British. In the snug next to our table sat a dozen blue haired coffin dodgers all having a pint or cup of tea while discussing the virtues of the right crackers to have when one is sampling different chutneys. Of course tonight was the night that the local gardners guild was having a little best of show competition to judge the years best chutney in the village. Gripping stuff and clearly very serious given the general conversation. They soon had me convinced this was not for the faint hearted. Then Tom took the floor to introduce his entry for 2016. Ladies and gents, I call this one "Strubarb". I have painstakingly blended the sweetest of seasonal strawberries and the tartest rhubarb to make this.

A deafening hush came upon the room. What was this abomination, this isn't cricket old boy. This is a traditional group, we don't go in for Strubarb. Sorry old man, not this year. Tom snatched his jar and crackers and stormed off. Serious group, serious chutney. It was good to know chutney is not up to anyones interpretation. To end the night was a walk to the late night chippy for the obligatory beer mop. Haddock and chips twice please. Order filled and back to Jan's place. BBC ten o'clock news, devour and sleep!Cheers!Mark

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Waiter! Back in the States, we call that a Hawaiian Pizza.

Another day in the cradle of civilization went very well if I may say so myself. Given that we had already hit the majority of the “biggies” over the course of the last few outings, today was a day for “a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll”. For those in the crowd that love and pine for the retro tones of Donny and Marie, here’s looking at you kids!We left our place this morning once again on a straight shot to St. Peters. It may sound like we always end up there but actually we always end up there. Not always because we intend to but mainly because it is five minutes from our AirBnB on the way to literally everything else.

We walked straight by this morning except for one deviation as I stopped & watched intently as a plain clothes Roma Police team shook down a Gypsy who was a bit too aggressive with the elderly pilgrims in town for a “god time” not a long time. Just as I had observed a Caribinieri officer smash a “Gypo" for pickpocketing in Florence many moons ago, this was just as entertaining. Perhaps most reading this would think I may have a black heart but these thieving little Bas**ards deserve everything they get.

If you never ventured out of tourist Rome you may think that every Roman gets a mega stipend at birth so they may look, smell and be great. I guess its a rouse, these folks have jobs. We walked past the Italian Navy HQ. White uniforms were the order of the day and there were hundreds. I have been suffering with my obligatory heat rash about the ankles as per usual in this country. Deanna has suffered through many a day and night with me here (mostly Venice or Assisi) & helps me administer the usually useless ointments at the conclusion of every long day. Today I went to a pharmacy and in my best broken Italian asked the chemist what she thought.

Fifteen seconds later with a short confab with her senior and over the counter came a spray pump bottle containing instant relief and reversible symptom treatment within an hour.I have been here numerous times and just plain suffered. Stupid is as stupid does once said a wise ping pong playing man. So with relief came a notion to head to a cafe, have some lunch and a beer or two and then finish it all off with a tiramisu and a wicked smooth espresso. Joy in Mudville peeps, all is well in the world. Fuelled and good to go. 150 meters west and we stood in front of a church I did not recognize. The Church of Gesu’. Im gonna say it, second best and rivalling the best of the bunch we have had the honour to visit. I’m all out of adjectives. Crazy crazy beautiful. After 45 minutes sitting in several seats around the building with our necks cranked way back it was time to think about the off.Uber requested and a six minute wait.

While we wait I will explain todays title. About an hour earlier, all was going smoothly at the Cafe Napoleon. Then Chip and Buffy and their friends Chip and Buffy decided to co-join our table. Buffy 1 had one policy. Only stop talking when food was inserted in her gob. Her incessant jabbering about Alabama was starting to make my ears bleed. Chip 1 didn't say much, I'm not sure he was authorized to. Our waiter was good, multi lingual and really sharp. Buffy 1 wanted pizza. She pointed to the menu in an effort to order. It would have been much easier to annunciate but oh well. The waiter confirmed her choice of prosciutto & pineapple as he clearly didn't get many locals placing that order. He spoke clearly in English to confirm the choice. He read back the toppings. Thats when Buffy 1 tried to explain in “American” that back in the states they call that a Hawaiian Pizza.

Luca tried to keep a straight face however there was a strong hint of you are a stupido oozing out from his every pour. Next came Buffy 2 who only wanted a salad as she was watching her weight (we learned). Buffy 2 wanted to know if she could get ranch dressing on the side. The response from Luca was what kind of dressing? Olio and balsamic, that is what we have. Buffy 2 was just a little stunned as they have ranch dressing back in the states and as it turns out on Carnival Cruise lines too. Chip 1 and Chip 2 ordered pasta carbonara. This prompted Buffy 2 to reconsider her original order. “Could I have a pasta carbonara too waiter? Trump could win….. Buffy 2’s diet starts tomorrow!

Cheers,

Marco

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DOES USING UBER MAKE ME A 51 YEAR OLD HIPSTER?

Nine long hours on foot around Rome today. I was “losing power Captain” and I needed some help to keep my happy place and happy face in tact. Just then I discovered a cure for this uncivilized pain. It is app based and it is amazing. Little did I know until late this afternoon as I sat next to a beautiful and cooling fountain in a curiously silent piazza that life doesn't have to be hard. Uber is a thing & it exists in Rome. Angus had the occasion to use it several times in London 3 weeks ago without a hitch. So what the hell, I started an account and began to see the simplicity in this service.I know most of you know everything I'm going to say already, but I was taken with the process and the ability to monitor our Uber’s location on my phone as he made his way for our pick-up. I could see the drivers photo, I knew his name was Massimo and that he would be arriving in a black BMW 5 Series. All of which came true 6 minutes later. Massimo arrived in a Italian tailored suit, sporting short hair and a Roman attitude. This was fine.

The app had sent me a quote for 18 Euros back to our Air BnB. Twelve minutes later and we were there. Slick, cool and a must do-over for sure.What took us to the piazza that Massimo had just picked us up from you ask? Well I am more than happy to tell you. This morning was a rough one. We got up early again as it seems there has been little in the way of jet lag to suffer through so far. We walked Southeast on Via Aurelia until we reached our first stop of the day back at St. Peters Square. We knew yesterday that the Pope would be giving mass today and as you can imagine so did close to 90.000 faithful present. I never thought that this would happen but it has. I have seen the Pope live and on jumbo-tron. A life memory of epic proportion.

At the conclusion of the outdoor service we wandered back to the Tiber and crossed the Ponte Principe into the centre of Roma. Just like last year I was absolutely blown away with some of the most stunning hole in the wall churches and cathedrals that literally line the streets on both sides and in every direction. You wander into a nondescript doorway to find yourself in a narnian world. You think you are venturing into a phone booth sized room. The next thing you know you are in a room the size of a soccer pitch from end to end and floor to ceiling.

From the Pantheon we walked to the Trevi Fountain. The last time I was here it was closed for a makeover. For those who think a trip to Vegas and its Bellagio or Venetian Hotels are a true and accurate depiction of all that is remarkable about Italy, then think again. Neither are, and in fact they are a soulless misinterpretation for the slack jawed troglodytes that arrive via Southwest Airlines because they love the sounds of the slots and the taste of Marlboro.The Trevi is the real deal. That is marble and lots of it. Those statues were carved not made of plaster of Paris. It is something. If I am lying why was there 5000 visitors standing shoulder to shoulder around me to make a wish and toss a coin into it's pools. It is remarkable. From the Trevi we made our way to the Forum and then on to the Colosseum. That walk has an innate ability to send you back in time. You are riding aboard a chariot or drinking wine under a palm. My retention of Roman history is not fantastic but I do recall that to be a Roman in the those days meant privilege and a life of civility. I believe to some degree the people here are still living a life of privilege.

La Dolce Vita is here in spades. Style is seen on foot, in cars or aboard a screamingly fast scooter. Prada high heeled shoes do work as the perfect accoutrement to a Momo Scooter helmet. Believe me its true.It was time to wander from the crowds, so taking another Rick Steves suggestion we walked west back across the Tiber to Trastevere. Immediately the pace of life slowed and the trattorias and vino bars were full of locals. This is going to be my go to for the remainder of the stay here in the nations capital. Awesome vibe. So here we are back full circle. I forgot to mention several notable moments today. My Lemon Gelato and my macchiato whilst standing at the bar, both were terrific in their own way.

Back at our Air BnB now, I am a converted Uber user. I travelled in BMW luxury. Upon receiving my e-receipt I was pleasantly surprised that the quote sent earlier of 18 Euro was a tad over zealous. The fare ended up being 16.00 Euros. I am a hipster and I didn't even have to swill Portland micro brew over my perfectly trimmed beard whilst wearing a plaid shirt. I call that a good day!

Arivaderci!

Mark

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