NO EMBELLISHMENT REQUIRED.

I left you last time from my lounge table at the Holiday Inn Express in Affoltern am Albis. This is a pretty little town just a little north of Lucerne. Our afternoon’s journey took us through valleys bordering the Alps and early in the evening we pulled in shattered from the drive and the heat. In Affoltern we checked in and I got the blog knocked out, finished my beer and got up to head to the elevator.

Just as I got to my feet I caught a glimpse. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Three tour buses pulling up in front of the hotel one after the other.Not only was this a bus tour Mecca, it was the same folks from Interlaken who we had dodged several hours earlier. I picked up my pace to try to get on the elevator (one only) before well over a 100 bus tourists were assigned their rooms from their yellow flag carrying cyborg leaders. Epic fail, too late.

The procession had begun. Deanna and I looked at our concierge with sad puppy dog eyes. He took pity on us and brought us into the back of house to use the staff elevator to the 6th floor. I felt like a rock star escaping a throng of rabid fans “out the back door of the theatre”. It’s good to be an IHG Spire customer as several of my brothers in arms know too well. The following morning the breakfast area was like feeding time at the zoo.

If you felt like taking your life in your hands now was the time to try and jockey for position at the trough. I could not understand the bus tour banter however I think they were enjoying shutting us out. We regrouped and waited for the surly drivers to arrive and bark loading times and other orders at the bus tourists. It did not seem to me that they liked their job by their tone and facial expressions.

What I did notice however is that these fellows were clearly not to be trifled with and they must be well known for driving off leaving tardy passengers behind on a regular basis. That all being said the breakfast room cleared out in seconds and calm was restored. Bliss! The following morning was spent in Laufenburg, Switzerland.  The place is spectacular.  The photos do not do it a quarter of the respect its owed.  

The remainder of our day was spent travelling through rural Switzerland and the black Forrest of Bavaria. We finally called it a day in Fruedenstadt, Germany. It was a treat to check in to our little Bavarian hotel and soon after we were into the middle of town and the Centrum platz. We made for the local Brau Haus and quickly got down to business with Pilsners and an unreal selection of pigs knuckle, sour kraut and schnitzel.

A wonderful meal served by typically grumpy fifty something ladies dressed in local garb (use your imagination). Dinner was fantastic but Allistair was a little put out by the amount of Kirsht in his Black Forrest Sundae. Life is hard for teenagers! Back to the hotel and soon to sleep. We woke not too long after and joined our fellow guests for a wonderful breakfast and then packed the car for our journey north. We set the GPS for Wetzlar just past Frankfurt. Wetzlar is home to Leica camera. It’s factory and world HQ. I have been a devoted fan of Leica cameras since photography became a hobby. Their history is long and colourful. Without Leica we would not have enjoyed so many of the photographs we call iconic today. Leica have provided tools for the best and brightest photographers to capture & catalogue history. We enjoyed coffee and cake at the Leica cafe’ to begin with then moved on to the exhibit centre, gallery and store. I have been lucky to own a Leica in the past but not recently and today makes me lust after one now even more.

From Wetzlar we moved onto Ghent in Belgium this afternoon. The autobahn and an average speed of 175 kmh helped with our arrival time but not my nerves. You think you are Sebastian Vettel as you rocket along, but furious Germans are on your bumper flicking their high beams incessantly so that you get out of their way. You think you’re fast, they go much much faster. Germany’s roads are scary but please go anyway, we met some lovely Syrian dial-a-dopers (economic migrants doing well, you might say) last night after dark in the platz. 

I call them as I sees them and these telephone based narcotic delivery specialists were doing quite well for themselves by the look of their bling, several burner phones and shiny new Nike Shox (prison shoes in Canada).  Anyway, we are here and resting before we spend the next couple of days wandering Ghent prior to moving on to conclude our trip in Amsterdam.

I leave you with this. Don’t bus tour. It really looks like the most miserable of times! And what do you see? You see what others tell you to see and then you wage war with your new friends (you never wanted) at the buffet every morning and night until its all gone and so is your will to live.  It sounds shit cause it is shit.

Live well!

PEOPLE SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS AND AUSTRIA

The time has come to place my new carryon size wheelie bag in the car and kindly ask Deanna to drive me out to the airport so that I can meet Dale and our journey can begin in earnest.  The weather at Victoria International Airport was best described as “meh” and as such I didn’t feel that we were going to be missing much while we are away for the next 10 days.Today’s journey will be of epic length and will include three planes, one train and at least a couple of automobiles. For those keeping score at home, I have indeed just mentioned that our journey could be considered very similar to a movie from the 80’s where two fellows decide through necessity to travel together from New York to Chicago. Our journey neither starts nor ends in the Windy City, however it does begin on Vancouver Island and will hopefully finish some 27 hours later in Austria.

I suppose many of the keen movie buffs amongst you are wondering who of us most resembles the character played by the late great John Candy on this adventure. Suffice to say that I just had to remind Dale that those aren’t pillows he is jamming his hands into.After we organized boarding passes and said our goodbyes we made our way to CATSA screening and stepped into the abyss. It wasn’t too busy but unfortunately it was also understaffed and therefore slow going.The slow moving cue eventually split and along with several American ladies I was directed towards the furthest X-ray station. As there were only five travellers in our group, I soon began to wonder why it was taking so long to get to the point I could remove my IPad, small liquids and gels and place them gently into the neatly stacked white plastic bins as you do at every airport I have ever been to around the world.I stepped back a little to see if I could figure it out the delay.

It was no surprise I suppose that each of these ladies had believed it was a great idea to place each souvenir purchased, each piece of clothing worn and each copy of People Magazine read into their open top shopping bags.  Just to further complicate things, the lovely and patient shepherd herding sheep today for CATSA had to ask that most of these items be separated and placed in additional bins.Upon completion of this seemingly arduous task I clearly overheard the shepherd ask if they had any electronic devices that they had not yet removed from their bags. The reply he got was quite unequivocal. “No” and with that the first bin was pushed along the rollers and into the X-ray.It disappeared for a moment and then soon returned back at breakneck speed. The shepherd asked if the owner of the bags in that particular bin if she was traveling with an IPad? The reply was “yes”. That was countered with “I thought you just told me you had no electronics in your bag?” A simple question I thought. But not so simple as it turned out. The lady in question replied that “in the states they have a different definition of electronics”.An IPad does not meet that definition apparently. Clearly the Kindle and IPhone subsequently appearing from the same bag moments later further pointed to the flawed Canadian broader definition of electronics.

We as Canadians need to stop causing real hardships for confused cross boarder shoppers. Perhaps Trudeau can publicly apologize (with tears) for that as well. He seems to be good at apologizing to everyone for everything.We got through eventually and we soon found a couple of stools to sit on at Spinnakers in the downstairs departure lounge. We sat there for an hour and then moved towards our gate.With typical WestJet banter the flight was called and we made our way aboard with high hopes of clear skies to Calgary. Our row was shy one passenger so we had tons of room. An hour or so later and we were on the ground in Calgary. A smooth transition to the international side and there we grabbed some dinner.After dinner we moved next door to a nicely appointed lounge called VIN. This place was a little upmarket but this is a vacation so a little treat can’t hurt.I soon spotted a sixty something man sitting on his own against the back wall attired from head to toe in Saskatchewan Roughriders apparel. For those who don’t know much about the Canadian Football League, this means he was dressed completely in green complimented with white logos.Initially I thought this guy must be a super fan who is getting in the spirit several months before the season kicks off. He must be just killing time in international until he meanders back to the domestic side to catch a flight home to Regina.  

We sat down next to the super fan in question and I was just about to chat him up when his extremely forlorn looking wife appeared and slumped in the chair adjacent.Our perceptive waiter was soon to inquire if everything was ok. The rest is comedy gold and I will confidently state now that nothing will make me “LOL” harder on this trip than her well considered response.  She took a deep breath as if she was about to weep and then explained she had just returned from checking the departure board and to her dismay their flight had been really delayed.The waiter asked where they were flying. Her response was to my surprise London. Before you judge me I just thought there aren’t many destinations on this planet that you would wander about dressed like a leprechaun with footballs silkscreened on your chest, London included.  She went on to explain to the waiter that they were supposed to leave at 6:50 pm. The departure board now says the flight has been delayed to 18:50. That’s a really long time and the price of the waiters rum was very expensive.The waiter replied compassionately that he was sorry about the prices but the bastard never even thought about explaining the 24 hour clock to the misguided Rider faithful. With that she acquiesced and ordered another expensive rum and a half carafe of Diet Coke “on the side”.It wasn’t long before we were aboard WS1 bound for Gatwick and seated one row behind the privileged once again. Story of my life.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. WestJet operates transatlantic flights with a no frills service. You may purchase a meal if you wish. Don’t expect a blanket but the crew are cheerful and seem to really care about their customers.So much so that 4 hours into the journey our flight attendant came on the PA to request us to pull down our window blinds. She went on to advise that soon we would be “flying near the sun” and some passengers may prefer to sleep. Now I’m no historian but as I recall flying near the sun was not such a great idea for Icarus.I rejoin you today from Platform 2 at Salzburg railway station. We are resting after an 05:30 alarm and subsequent walking tour (self guided) through old Salzburg.  Last night after a picturesque train journey from Munich we quickly stored our luggage in our room at the very hip Villa Carleton Hotel and then boarded a cab for a local beer garden. This place had several floors of beer halls and numerous food vendors that all had their own version of roast chicken and wurst. We drank a customary litre of the house brau and scoffed a couple curry wurst. A little bit of carnivore nirvana.

THE PLANNING CONTINUES FOR TRIP #2 OF 2018.

Trip #2 kicked off for real at McRae’s Roadhouse, as it usually does when Dale and I hatch an evil plan.  Evil may be taking a little poetic licence.  It’s more of a master plan.  Our original goal when we began to dream of travelling the world was to visit  places that would challenge our resilience.Getting away for a couple of weeks from time to time is a big ask for spouses who are left carrying the bag, and for that support we are very thankful.  Our mindset has been to always try to get to places that may be unsettling and uncomfortable yet all the while enjoyable and guarantee to forge indelible memories.Our initial thoughts for this upcoming journey was to travel to India by way of Dubai.  As with our adventures in the past, gin and tonic has a sneaky way of opening up the scope of things to come.  What started out as a journey to Mumbai, Goa and perhaps several places in between became (with the help of Bombay Sapphire Gin) “sure we can do that, but what about if we also include Kathmandu and Varanasi?”Now we’re talking.  All those North face jackets and Arcteryx shirt, short and sock combos can be busted out of the travel tickle trunk.  We are at last those guys that they make movies about.  You know, the ones who adorn the posters at the Sundance Film Festival trekking up the Khumbu valley towards Everest base camp. There we are, locked in to an itinerary but we won’t purchase the tickets before we draw a sober breath and reconvene in a week’s time with some research done and some thoughtful perspective added to the mix.Our next meeting took place at Starbucks in Broadmead Village.  We arrived well prepared with passports, laptops and research collected from third parties (colleagues and friends mostly).  What happened next was unexpected and if I’m honest just a little sad.  It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that we no longer need our trekking poles or a basic understanding of Hindi.  It turns out that we had decided to book a trip to a country that at that time of the year happens to be experiencing its hottest weather.  In addition to the heat, the humidity and fast approaching monsoons should make it a destination that we reschedule for a different spot on the calendar.So where to go and what to see?  We discussed South Africa, South America  and Scandinavia.  Then came the old standby.  Let’s get ourselves to London and go to as many places EasyJet and Eurorail can take us for the least amount of money.  Some time on the old IPad netted the following results.  It looks like the following might be the itinerary for our Europalooza 2018.  London to Munich.  Apparently they have beer, sausage, pigs knuckle and leather bib shorts there.  Perhaps I may drop by the tailor? From Munich we will travel by rail to Salzburg.  I am a little bit of a classical music fan so I am looking forward to a string quartet or two.  Salzburg, as luck would have it is also well stocked with Beer and Schnitzel. Next comes another train journey to Venice and the lagoon that surrounds it.  As I am not a newbie to that area I know what to expect and I know that I love it.  Hopefully the sun will be out by then and with sun comes the need for Beer (Moretti) and perhaps a little insalada mare’.Venice gives way to Sicily and a few days in a less travelled and unspoiled Italy.  I cant wait to drive the south coast and take in the rich history and traditions on the island.  The white wine from the foothills surrounding Etna is apparently top-notch.  Perhaps a glass or two accompanied by the best cannoli in the world and you’ve got a winner.  From Catania we EasyJet to Barcelona.Spain has a lot to offer and we hope to soak up the architecture, culture, vino and tapas.  Barcelona then sees us fly away to the north and Toulouse as our final stop on the continent.  Although I have spent some quality time in Provence I have never been to Toulouse.  I am really looking forward to the things to see and do which may be accompanied by a bottle or two of Kronenbourg.  From France we fly back to London for a couple of days of what London does.  It’s a huge city but its still one of the best in the world.  Of course I could go on and on in detail about these stops, but that will follow on the pages of this blog as we go.  I hope you will find the time to accompany us along the way by catching up right here.Cheers!Mark